


To end the rises and the falls

by Deanpala



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Beholding Martin, Entity Martin, Jons angy for a bit understandable but he gets better, M/M, Spoilers for The Magnus Archives Season 5, The archive - Freeform, Unintentional use of God like powers, bittersweet ending?, god martin, i mean it’s not great for the boys but they don’t die, implied eventual bad end, set in season 5, there need to be more God Martin fics ok there just do, think the bifrost incident, will make little sense if you aren’t in season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26220364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deanpala/pseuds/Deanpala
Summary: The second Jonah’s statement ends, Martin can feel something snap into place.“Look at the sky Martin,” Jon says “look at the sky, it’s looking back.”And it- he is. The eye reflecting his own color.He’s here now, in his entirety
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 19
Kudos: 64





	1. As my eyes opened wide, they drank from the sky

**Author's Note:**

> This came from talking to artnerdsarah of tumblr (think that’s her handle on here as well) when we were talking about an entity Martin au and she mentioned what if he didn’t know he was an entity. I haven’t got rest since.

The second the statement is over, Martin can feel something click into place.

He rushes home immediately. He doesn’t know if Jon will... know now, like he does, but even if he doesn’t he shouldn’t be alone right now. Not when it’s Martins fault.

He slaps him awake, and when Jon asks what happened, he doesn’t know how to answer, how to tell him.

“Look at the sky Martin, look at the sky. It’s looking back.”

And it is. He can see the eye with his color, and he can see the cabin with him and Jon, and he can see........ everything.

He closes two of his eyes, but he cannot look away.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

————————

Jon glares at the tape that clicks on.

“If you’re going to listen at least do it in person.”

Martin steps into the room hesitantly.

“Sorry I didn’t- I know that you want your space right now, but I wanted to check that you were ok?”

Jon laughs hollowly.

“Of course YOU’D think I could be happy here.”

“That’s not- I didn’t plan this Jon, I didn’t know. Not until Jonah brought me the rest of the way here.”

“But you’re enjoying it though, aren’t you?”

“I’m- yes. I am. The worlds full and I feel... complete.”

“Is that why you keep trying to force me out there? Make your precious archive behold all the terrors you aren’t already shoving into my head?”

Martin winces at that.

“I’m not- I don’t know how to stop the overflow to you. I’msorry Jon, I’m trying my best.”

“I don’t know why you’re trying to convince me you’re still Martin” Jon sneers “ what else could you possibly want from me? What’s out there you can’t see already?”

“You know as much as me that I see all of it, and I know you’re scared of how loud it is out there, but I’m not lying, I am still me just... more. I just. I just want you to be happy, and I want- well no, I REALIZE the world needs to go back to normal, and the solution isn’t in this rotting place.”

There’s a spark of hope in Jon’s heart that there is a solution, but he quickly shoves it down.

“I don’t believe that you care about humanities happiness in the least, you’ve certainly never cared about mine. Just. Leave me alone. Please.”

A hurt that isn’t his blows through his chest and images go through his head. His own smile, the way he picks at his nails, thousands and thousands of small moments of him, and the intense unspeakable love that comes from being truely and utterly known.

Jon does the only thing he can do.

He cries.

——————

Jon is not expecting to ever do a statement again. He especially does not except to do a statement about himself, and refer to Martin as his love and someone who wants to see him change into something more.

“Martin.”

He practically falls out of his chair in his rush to get up.

“Jon! You’re- I mean. Hi. Are you okay? What do you need?”

“Well I would like you to not shove your emotions into my head for one.”

“What?!? I don’t- oh. Ohhhh. I am so sorry, you weren’t supposed to- well. I didn’t mean for you to hear that.”

“What do you mean you didn’t mean to, just don’t give it to me.”

“It’s not- look, it’s not a conscious decision for me to do it ok? It’s- you remember how Jonah called you an archive right? And how Leitner explained the monsters and such as like parts of the entities. When I learn information it’s supposed to go into my archive, that’s just where it’s supposed to end up. You’re part of my brain essentially. I wouldn’t purposely do it, but you’ve been dwelling over the same recordings for the past month or so, it’s really just the same for me. I think about something to hard and boom! Into the archive it goes.”

“Still. A little warning at least would be nice, not all of us can be fear Gods with the capacity for as much horror you can dream of.”

“I’ll... work on it.”

Jon lets out an exhausted sigh.

“That’s- Fine I suppose. Anyway, if in the future you want to tell me oh, I don’t know, that the place I’m living in is a manifestation of the corruption, I would appreciate you telling me not a month into it, and to tell me with your actual mouth.”

“Does that mean you’re finally willing to leave the cabin?”

“Yes Martin, obviously, though I’m not sure where else I can go to. I guess it depends on if you were- did you mean what you said the other day? When you mentioned there being a way to turn the world back?”

“Yeah, there is.”

“And you’d be willing to just give it up? Complete control of everything?”

Martin rolls his eyes.

“I still remember what it was like to be human Jon, just because I like to feel full doesn’t mean I’m going to keep subjecting everyone else to this.”

“Alright then. Let’s go.”


	2. Calming if you look at it right

Jon, despite being willing to travel with him, does not trust Martin.

He feels validated in this belief almost immediately when they have to go through a battleground and the terror of it pours from him once again.

What does surprise him however, is the way Martin treats the people waiting to die. He does.... something, that lets them focus on Jon’s recounting of what’s going on, let’s them see the world for a moment of rest without just the violence.

“Why did you have them listen to the statement?”

Martin shrugs.

“Figured it was better than watching it or being part of it.”

“So you could’ve snapped them out of it, walked them out.”

Martin shakes his head.

“It’s not- I’m the primary entity running things, but those people weren’t mine, they were the slaughters. I’m more powerful than them like this but most I can really do for the people stuck in these places is like... like an order in counsel. I can temporarily make a decision that has to be followed, but it’s really not up to me in the long run. The avatars, people like you, I can do something about, but the domains aren’t mine.”

Hm. Interesting.

Maybe he wasn’t as responsible for all this as Jon had thought.

———————-

Jon of course, still wants to know all the answers of the world, and for the most part Martin freely gives them to him.

Not always though.

“Martin, why can’t I see Georgie?”

Martin lets out a little huff at that. 

“I thought you two were broken up.”

“We ARE, that doesn’t mean I can’t be worried about her and Melanie though does it?”

He mutters something under his breath.

“Sorry what?”

“I said I can’t see her.”

“I thought you could see everything?”

“She’s not afraid of me! The world runs on fear now and the one person you want to see doesn’t fear anything. She’s alive at least though, I’d know if she’d died.”

Jon starts to fondly roll his eyes at the jealous and complaint before cutting himself off mid thought. Martin wasn’t cute, he was the thing that had trapped them all in the institute and made him a monster.

“Fine then, what about Jonah, where’s he?”

The information he asks for floods into Jon’s brain with no hesitation and they wince in tandem. 

“Ew. Why are- do we have to FEEL him?”

“Hm. Unfortunately so. I can see better than before because of the panopticon, but a downside of that is the panopticon itself is sort of a... blind spot. Can’t see into my own eye can I?”

“He feels gross.”

“Agreed.”

They walk a bit more in silence.

“So what exactly is the plan for fixing all this?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t- Martin I absolutely AM going to worry about how to fix the end of the world I- OW why did that feel like running into a brick wall?”

“No reason.”

“Martin-“

“It would’ve been to much for you anyway okay? We’re borderline infinite and incredibly complex, just drop it, I’ll explain it when we get there.”

————————————

Martin is unsurprisingly, entirely comfortable in just standing back and watching Jon do his thing.

“Ceaseless watcher,” he says in a moment of rage “turn your gaze upon this wretched thing.”

There’s a long moment of silence where nothing happens.

“Oh yes! Yes sorry, my bad. Do you want me to like, kill her? Or I guess I could just- juice you up? Let you take the wheel on it?”

Jon can feel his face heat up in embarrassment. He had entirely forgotten about that for a moment.

“I- yes please. Don’t- don’t call it juicing me up though, that’s... it’s gross.”

“Got ya.”

——————————-

The moment that Jon accepts what Martin is, and finally let’s go of his anger at him, they are in the ends domain.

“Martin? Where are you going?”

“I’m going to kill Oliver Banks.”

“What? Why?”

“Do I need a reason? Another terrible monster taken care of, that’s all.”

“You are literally an eldritch fear that rules the world. I’M a terrible monster. What’s this about?”

“Look,” Martin says prissily “can I go kill him or what?”

“Why are you asking MY permission, you’re the one with the- no you know what, never mind, no. He woke me up so unless you can give me a good reason we aren’t killing him.”

“Oh sure, he woke you up, just ignore the supernatural pact you made that kept you alive, that’s fiiiine.”

“Are you JEALOUS?”

“I waited for weeks and nothing! He talks to you for five minutes and suddenly your back on your feet bouncing around like a spring chicken! And then you credit him for saving you when it was me that brought you back!”

“You can not be serious,” Jon snorts “Martin you can literally see into by brain, you know I’m not in love with him, HOW is this a problem right now!?”

“Well you haven’t exactly been the most lovely over me recently either and you’re a handsome man! I can’t blame him for noticing!”

“You can’t- hold on are you saying the death avatar has a crush on me?”

“See! This is what I’m talking about! Why do you care if he does or not!?!”

Jon is cackling now while Martin just stares at him unimpressed.

“Stop it! It’s not funny!”

“Good lord you’re ridiculous. No, we are not killing a man that you know for a FACT that I’m not romantically interested in.”

Martin pouts at him, the eye above them furrows to match, and Jon can’t breath from how utterly silly this man is, and how much he loves him.

————————-

Martin had not thought about why he had agreed so readily to go kill bill when the option was presented. He knew that killing the avatars wouldn’t change anything, that they were just pawns of their entities. He assumed that he had pushed for it because he loved Jon and felt anger at those who had hurt him.

But Jon had never met Simon Fairchild, and Martin could have killed him much easier than Jon could, so why was he so upset that Jon had refused to do it?

When Jon says he just feels worse, it pops into place.

He’s the physical personification of the fear that you are suffering for someone else’s enjoyment. It didn’t matter who, all that mattered was that the avatars knew he was watching.

And Jon. He didn’t even think of how he’d make him suffer through all this, even as he fed off it.

“I’m- you’re right, I’m sorry. We won’t smite anyone else unless you’re okay with it.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, of course. I shouldn’t have pushed for it in the first place anyway I- you’re to important to me to let you get hurt.”


	3. The loosing card I’ll someday play

They reach the panopticon, and Jonah is in absolute reverence. He can not even speak, he just. Falls to his knees, speechless.

It must be strange, seeing the God you worship is someone you had hurt so much.

Martin isn’t sure how he feels about killing him now.

“Ummm. Martin, I cant help but notice that nothing is happening right now.”

“Yeah, yeah sorry I just... need a moment.”

“What? Why, what’s wrong?”

“It’s- well I mean for one, he’s..... he’s a part of me right? It might hurt to just.... you know, cut off a finger metaphorically. He’s been my most loyal acolyte, and.... he’s the reason I’m so nice, why I can love you.”

“I’m sorry what.”

“No not like that it’s- so the watcher crown exists to bring me into the world right? And however long ago, he preformed it, but I couldn’t come into the world as myself because one, I’m just too powerful to fit in the way it was before, and two, none of the other entities were here, but he propped open the door to let me in if I wanted, if I was willing to sacrifice some of that power and memory.

I’m.... I don’t know, grateful. I’m not- I know he’s objectively horrible, it’s fine, you can kill him, I just needed to... brace myself I guess.”

“You said it’ll hurt you?”

“Probably yeah.”

“I really want to kill him.”

“I know, it’s fine. I get it. He’s hurt you far more than this will hurt me.”

Jon looks at Jonah on his knees.

“It’s- hm.”

“You can’t do it, can you” Jonah goads smugly “our God won’t let you.”

“Shut up that’s not-“

“Jon” Martin puts a hand on his shoulder “let me handle this.

“You are no longer my favorite, that’s Jon. Saying I am your God in any capacity is stretching it. The only reason you’re allowed to be near us is because Jon wants you dead, if he changes his mind then you’re out of here.”

Jonah looks close to crying, maybe throwing a tantrum.

“But I’m the one who-“

“No. I don’t care. You aren’t king of a ruined world or anything, you’re just a brat. I’m here now, so you no longer provide me any use. Jon, what do you want with him?”

“Absence of your God in life and utter rejection seems like it would be rather unpleasant doesnt it?”

“Yes, I imagine it would be.”

Martin looks down at Jonah.

“Go. I don’t want you anymore.”

——————————

“If killing Jonah won’t fix the world, what is the plan exactly?”

“You won’t like it”

“I don’t care.”

“We- the entities cant die while there are creatures to fear them, and we can’t go back where we were before, it’s been destroyed, so we need somewhere else to live.”

“Where?”

Martin gives him a sad smile, and puts a hand on Jon’s chest, and Jon gives him a horrified look.

“No......”

“What else is an archive for except to store things?”

Jon lets out a hollow laugh.

“Of course. And what would this entail? Will you have to-“

“I’ll be fine, but I’ll have to go too I think. You won’t have to do anything but exist, but you suffer so much just being mine, I can’t imagine what it’ll be like to have all of us trying to fit in you. It’s why we had to come the long way, and to the panopticon. I can force them to listen better here, and you’ve continuously made more room for horror as we’ve gone.”

“It- this would fix things though?”

“I don’t- for awhile at least? I don’t know, honestly the most likely ends are you either have to live forever to keep us locked away, or more likely, since the end will be in there too, when you die the world will end again. Buy everyone at least a good fifty years if we don’t have negative effects on your health. You don’t have to do this, it’s your choice.”

“This isn’t- I cant make the choice for everyone, this isn’t fair to put on me, why are you making me decide?”

“Because I know what I’d choose Jon. I- this world as is is paradise for me, and I don’t- I have you like this. I don’t want to be alone if you die. But it isn’t supposed to be my world and it’s your life, so it’s your decision.”

Tears run down Jon’s face and Martin moves to hug him.

“This isn’t fair.”

“I know.”

“I love you so much.”

“I know Jon, it’s okay. Can we just... put it off for awhile? A few more days before ending it?”

“Yes. Yes, alright.”

They lie down in bed together in silence, wrapped around each other, and pretend they can still sleep.

———————

“You know, I can keep you from aging, we could do this a few more years.”

“Martin.....”

“Yeah, I know I just- I know I’ll be right there, but I’ll miss being able to talk to you like this.”

“Well maybe you can send tapes?”

“Heh, yeah, we’ll always have the tapes at least.”

———————

“Will they know they only have a few years if that’s what happens?”

“I don’t think so. I could broadcast it to them if you want, make them all know so they can cherish their time together, do it right.”

“What about the children?”

“Hopefully by the time I come back again, there won’t be any. God, could you imagine knowing that is going to happen in your life time and then choosing to have children? You’d have to be some kind of monster.”

“Supposed you best tell them to adopt then. At least give the existing kids a chance to have some fond memories to look back on after.... well. After.”

“Yeah, that’s- that’s a good idea.”

“Memories are one of the best things you can ask for. Thank you for giving me so many good ones.”

———————-

“Ready?”

“No.”

“Me either.”

Martin wraps his arms around Jon, and they press their foreheads together. 

They stay like that for a long time.

The bed is suddenly empty, the world quiet, and his body full.

He begins to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


End file.
